Here is the d'var Torah that I gave this past Shabbat on my experience:

Taking the Food Stamp Challenge

Shabbat Chayei Sarah

November 19, 2011

Ohr Kodesh Congregation

As many of you are aware, for the past week, I have participated in the Food Stamp Challenge. During this time, I ate on a budget of $31.50 for the week, the average amount that an adult on food stamps receives. The Food Stamp Challenge is a national initiative publicized by the Food Research and Action Center in 2007.  Over the past four years, Members of Congress, governors, state officials, journalists and other community leaders have taken the Challenge to experience firsthand what it takes to make ends meet on the average food stamp benefit.  This year, the Jewish Council for Public Affairs partnered with an organization called Faith in Action to encourage leaders in the Jewish community to take this Challenge.

A quick look at the statistics regarding Food Stamps, or the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program – SNAP – as it is formally known.  I am not, nor will I pretend to be, a policy expert – many people here could speak much more eloquently and knowledgably about the policy issues than I can or will.  However, some basic information in understanding the situation of hunger in America will help set the context:

•  In 2010, more than 40 million people received an average of $133.79 per month.  This is the largest number on this program in our country’s history - nearly double the number of people who received this benefit in 2002, and 7 million more than received it in 2009 – the biggest one year jump in the program’s history. 
• The Federal government spent $68 billion dollars on SNAP in 2010, roughly 2% of the Federal budget. Again compare this to 2002, when the total cost of the program was $20 billion.
•  To be eligible for SNAP in FY 2011-12 a family of 4 must earn a total gross income of less than $29,000 a year.

These statistics paint a frightening picture, as the needs and subsequent costs of the program skyrocket.

I'm still not sure why I responded to this call to action, among the dozens of emails I receive asking me to participate in actions for worthy causes. Issues of poverty and hunger in America are important to me, but so are many other issues and I haven't acted upon many of the others. Part of what drew me to this action, ironically, is also one of its limitations – it felt “doable.”  It wasn’t asking me to do this for a month or for a year. I didn’t have to attend evening meetings or out-of-town conventions.  While I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I thought I could do this without disrupting my every-day life.

But, as I mentioned, this “do-ability” is also one of its limitations.  One member of the congregation, who agreed to have me share her comments, offered the follow critique:

This is a stunt…If you were really trying to do it, you would have to make the commitment that you and your family would simply accept poverty level income plus food stamps and other government benefits for a prolonged period of time – without the assurance that Ohr Kodesh would be waiting for you when you are finished.  Then, you would take the income and the food stamp allowance for your family – not the single allocation for you – and figure out what to buy in bulk and how to combine assets.  That what real people in poverty do.  Then, you would have to give up your car and figure out how to find a grocery store on the bus line and schlep everything home.  And you couldn’t use the Supergiant on E-W Highway because that’s too close to your house… And at the end – no, there would be no “end” because people live that way for months and years and entire lifetimes, so there is no relief at the end to say, “Well, I did that and now I know how it feels.”

You won’t.  And even for those for whom poverty ends, they don’t know when it will end, there is no calendar for it.  

The writer is, of course, correct. This is a stunt whose point is to raise awareness. My participation in the Challenge does nothing to change the face of food insecurity in America. I was constantly aware of this deficiency while I was taking the Challenge. During this week, I still slept in a comfortable bed in a warm home, drove in my car, carefully planned my meals with consideration to nutrition and health, had use of the internet, friends (including a nutritionist), and cookbooks to aide me in planning my meals, shopped around for the best deals, filled up my gas tank, etc.  I was not living a life of poverty and I was not experiencing the life of a person who lives on food stamps.  But even with these limitations, taking this Challenge provided me with some important insights that I would not have understood without it.

I became keenly aware of how casual I usually am about what I eat and how much it costs. I grew up in a home that was middle class – by my teens, we were more comfortable, but for most of my childhood, my parents were extremely careful about every dollar spent.  We never lacked for anything significant but there were times when money was tight. My parents instilled within me the need to be careful with money, and I took that message to heart when it comes to what I thought of as the “big ticket items.” Yet with food, I generally did not make that connection.  Typically, I look at prices at the grocery store and try to buy things on sale, but I don’t usually make menu decisions based on the cost of the meal.

In contrast, this week, I needed to plan out every meal: what I would eat, where I would eat it, making sure I always had a water bottle with me so that I wouldn’t have to purchase a beverage.  I couldn’t snack and I had to eat the same things over and over again.  At one point, I developed headaches and grew irritable.  I didn’t eat any meat, cheese, or yogurt for the entire week.  I had one banana a day, but no other fruit.  My vegetables for the entire week consisted of one package of carrots, 4 potatoes and an onion – most of which went into a lentil soup that sustained me throughout the week.  [As a side note, I also began to understand why Esav was willing to sell his birthright for a bowl of lentils!]  My daily menu was a bowl of cheerios or scrambled eggs and a banana for breakfast, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sometimes a bowl of lentil soup for lunch, another bowl of the lentil soup and kasha varnishkes (bowtie pasta with buckwheat) or rice and beans for dinner.

My meals were boring and bland and sometimes when I would see other food, it was hard to remember not to eat it.  And yet, I cannot say that I truly suffered – I had enough food to sustain myself. But, I only did this for one week – I chose the beginning point and the end point.  As the writer of the e-mail that I referred to earlier noted, if I were truly living off of SNAP “there would be no ‘end’ because people live that way for months and years and entire lifetimes, so there is no relief at the end.”

Oh, and did I mention water?  I never drank as much water as I did this week.  Since there was no money for beverages, water was the only thing I drank all week, with the exception of one cup of tea each day.  Whenever I was thirsty, I drank water; whenever I was hungry, I drank water; if I was around other people eating, I drank water. No juice, no coffee, no soda, no wine – not necessarily unhealthy, but definitely unusual for me. I probably drank 12-15 glasses of water a day.

As I identified with Esav regarding the lentils, I also gained new insight about the role of water in this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah.

As we read this morning, shortly after Sarah’s death, Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to go back to his ancestral homeland in Nachor and find a wife for Yitzchak. After a brief conversation, Eliezer departs on his mission and arrives just outside of the city, near the wells where women would come each morning to draw water for the day. With no instruction from Avraham on how to pick Yitzchak’s wife, Eliezer devises a test: When the women came to draw water from the well, he would ask for a bit of water for himself.  The woman who offered water for him and also for his camel would be the right match for Yitzchak.  No sooner does he devise the test than Rivkah appears and does exactly as he described.

Why this test?  What was it about drawing water for him and also for his camel that was so compelling?  First, of course, we know that water is the essence of life.  Our tradition makes numerous references to mayim chayim – living water or the water of life.  We know from science that our bodies are made mostly of water, our earth is made mostly of water and without water there can be no life.  When the rabbis want to emphasize the importance of Torah, they use the metaphor of water.  Water is a basic element necessary for life. 

The medieval commentator Rashi writes about Eliezer’s test and notes that the act of sharing her water with Eliezer and his camel proves that Rivkah is worthy of Yitzchak and worthy of entering Avraham’s house because it demonstrates her value of g’milut chasadim – acts of loving kindness. 

The commentator Kli Yakar takes this notion of g’milut chasadim and notes 3 aspects of this test:

1. First, he points out that this story is juxtaposed with the story at s’deh Ephron, in which Avraham negotiates the purchase of Sarah’s burial place. He posits that Avraham demanded that Yitzchak’s wife not come from Canaan because his experience with the Canaanites in those negotiations showed him that they value money above all else.  In the case of Eliezer’s test for Yitzchak’s wife, we see that an ayin tovah u’g’milut chasadim – a good eye and acting kindly – were most important.  Giving water to his camel, even though he only asks for water for himself, is proof of her strong sense of g’milut chasadim.
2. He also notes that there is a hint of this idea within the wording itself.  The word gamal (camel), and especially in the form of g’malecha (your camel) – is close in form to the word g’milut chasadim. 
3. Finally, he notes that g’milut chasadim – acts of loving kindness – is a binyan av – a paradigm– for all values. He writes that if you find someone who is strong in this value, you don’t need to check further about that person’s character.

Rivkah, we are taught, is the right match for Yitzchak because she excels in doing acts of lovingkindness – proven by the way she looks out not only for Eliezer’s needs, but also for the needs of his camel.

Prior to taking the challenge, I probably could have drawn the parallel between Rivkah’s exemplary spirit of g’milut chasadim as qualification to be Yitzchak’s wife and our own need to reach beyond ourselves to help the hungry in our own community.  But there is one additional insight from this story that I only learned from my experience this week.

As the story is told, Rivkah shows up immediately after Eliezer finished devising his test.  But it also states that he was there at the eit tzet hashoavot – the time when women came to draw water.  I presume there were many women who were there. I wonder how they reacted when they saw this man come riding across the desert.  I imagine that most would have simply turned aside – averted their eyes, ignored his request, too busy with their own needs and the needs of their family to stop and help a stranger. Rivkah, on the other hand, reached beyond herself and not only took care of his request – to give him a bit of water – but exceeded it by giving him as much as he needed and then looking after his camel as well.

The Torah gives no indication that Rivkah knew who Eliezer was or why he was there.  She acted assuming that he was a total stranger, an “other.”  But, in the course of reaching beyond herself and treating him kindly, she discovered he was not a stranger at all, but an important part of her family.

In the end, the most meaningful part of taking the Food Stamp Challenge for me came from unexpected places.  I received e-mails and Facebook messages, comments on my blog, people stopping me in stores and on the streets.  Our internet world allowed me to share my experience with hundreds of other people and, in turn, dozens of people shared their experiences with me. I am especially grateful to those individuals who shared with me their personal experience of life on food stamps. In taking the Food Stamp Challenge, I thought I was learning more about the anonymous “other,” the stranger,  but just like Rivkah, as I tried to reach beyond myself, I discovered that food stamp recipients are not strangers – they are here within our own community.  They are our friends, congregants and members of our family. They are, too often, hidden and embarrassed, but they are here.  

Consider the following e-mail from a member of the congregation, again shared with permission:

I just read about your food stamp challenge.  Bravo for accepting what will be a lesson in what is necessary vs. not, and learning to live without the simple pleasures that we are so used to.

I lived on public assistance with my child when times were excruciatingly tough after my divorce.   

There are a few things that I learned along the way, too.  Members of the Jewish community are completely unaware that there are people within their OWN community who are in need.  We often think of "other" groups as participants in such programs, but not our own.  I can't tell you how many times I went out of my way to shop in a store where people that I might know would not see me pay for groceries.  I always looked around the doctor and dentist's office before taking out my Medicare card at my child’s appointments.  And I personally was without any and all medical insurance for years.  While you are blogging about this experience, some people are going out of the way to not be humiliated.  Sadly, it is still not something that we feel comfortable talking about so as not to be judged.  

I hope that if you can share one thing about this experience with readers it is that this is life for people right in THEIR OWN community, in THEIR OWN neighborhood.  Many thanks for raising awareness.

And, so too, this one:

I saw you were doing the food stamp challenge. I thought I would send you a message on that. Maybe it can help(?) My husband and I are raising 3 kids on $30,000. He works very hard 6 days a week doing construction. I work 3 part time jobs, subbing at the schools, cutting hair and babysitting. Our mortgage is $1600.00 a month. Yes, we are on food stamps. Now here is the catch. Because our oldest son is living under our roof and working at Chipotle, they are taking away our medical, AND our $32.00/per person food stamps is becoming $25.00/per person a week…We work so hard, raise our kids right and can’t get ahead. I don’t see how barely giving us food will help :( I don’t know if this will help your project, you are welcome to use my "story", please just don’t use our real names. Good luck :)

It is important to note that for the congregant who critiqued this program (calling it a “stunt”) also noted that this was a personal issue:

As a child, we had experience with this sort of thing…and you can’t get there from where you are.

 My family ended up some distance from where it started (and my children ended up a very long way from where my parents and grandparents were), but the process was long and incremental.

There is a serious conversation to be had about food insecurity in the United States.

In the end, I feel that taking on this Challenge was a small, but important, attempt to understand this issue better.  I am keenly aware that my participation did not feed anyone who was hungry, nor did it change policy for programs that impact the hungry. But I did come away knowing that the 40 million Americans that I mentioned at the beginning are not some faceless mass. They are people right here in our community – they are our friends and they are our family.  And, too often, we simply avert our eyes.

My hope is that participating in this Challenge has helped permanently opened my eyes in a way that will lead me to better answer when I hear a stranger’s call for help. I hope that this experience will help me, and all of us, to emulate the spirit of Rivkah, reaching beyond ourselves, through acts of loving kindness.  In doing so, may we become worthy, like Rivkah, to be called ba’alei g’milut chasadim – masters of loving kindness.  I believe that there can be no greater title.

What about Shabbat?

Many people have noted that trying to live on $31.50 a week is particularly challenging if you also keep kosher.  That would certainly be true if I had enough money to purchase meat/poultry/cheese etc.  However, my diet EVERY day has been:

• Breakfast - bowl of cheerios and milk OR 2 eggs and piece of toast; a banana; cup of tea
• Lunch - peanut butter and jelly sandwich; bowl of lentil soup (in the latter part of the week)
• Dinner - Kasha Varnishkes (buckwheat and bowtie pasta) OR Rice and beans; a bowl of lentil soup
• Snack - I had a 4 extra carrots from the bag of soup and have been having one each night with a little peanut butter as my late night snack.

Therefore, keeping kosher has not had a significant impact on what I have eaten this week. (Click here to read an interesting article on this issue. Also, to hear an interview on NPR this morning with the friend I mentioned who is a nutritionist and helped advise me on my diet, click here.)

While keeping kosher hasn't been an issue, the impending celebration of Shabbat is. A key aspect of Shabbat is Oneg (rejoicing).  There are many ways to enjoy Shabbat, but festive meals are a key component. Traditionally, such meals include an overflowing cup of wine or grape juice, 2 challah breads at each meal, and (for those who are not vegetarian) meat or chicken. Many suggest that the purpose of the overflowing cup of wine is a symbol that for this one day, we celebrate as if we have an over-abundance.  This was especially poignant during difficult economic times for the Jewish community (much of our history). Rabbinic and Jewish literature also highlight examples of people who struggled to put a meal on their table during the week, yet still held back some each day in order to make sure they could have a Shabbat feast. In ancient and medieval Jewish communities, the kuppah (the Jewish community's version of food stamps) disbursements were made on Friday, in order to ensure that those who relied on it would have enough for their Shabbat meals. In Israel today, there is an organization called the Jerusalem Shabbat Fund that provides extra stipends for people on public assistance to have an extra $50 to make their Shabbat meals.

Unfortunately, I did not take this aspect of Shabbat into my plans.  While I certainly thought about Shabbat and what I would eat, I did not leave anything extra for challah, wine/grape juice or anything that would distinguish my meals on Shabbat from the rest of the week. I did plan for kasha varnishkes, which I like a lot better than rice and beans. However, I am concerned that my Shabbat will not feel festive and am debating whether to make kiddush and challah on 2 slice of whole wheat bread instead of over grape juice and challah.

Should I keep to the Challenge and compromise on Shabbat or  purchase some of these extras for Shabbat and and compromise on the Challenge.  In truth, because I don't actually live in poverty, I have an option that is an "easy" way out - I am leading our Tot Shabbat dinner and service at the synagogue tonight and tomorrow there is a communal Shabbat lunch.  While I am not planning to eat the food there as my meals, I could take a sip of grape juice and a bite of challah at each meal and fulfill my Shabbat obligations without overly compromising on taking the Challenge.

But what about those who don't have such easy options, which I would venture to say is true of most Jews on food stamps?  One of the things this week has taught me is that people on food stamps are not the "other" - they are right here in our own community.  Over the course of this week, I have had a number of people share their stories of life on food stamps with me. Some were from long ago, some more recent, and some who are currently facing this situation.  How do they participate in Shabbat?  Do they sacrifice each meal and each day to have enough to make Shabbat special?  Or, do they sit at their Friday night table wanting to make Shabbat, but lack the means to do so properly? It is easy to say that people in the community will help and invite them to meals, and I know that this does happen.  But I also heard many more stories of people who felt isolated from the Jewish community, embarrassed to let anyone know of their situation. While many of us look at the seemingly high cost of synagogue membership, Jewish day schools and overnight Jewish summer camps as placing an economic barrier to participation in Jewish life, what about those for whom purchasing a single challah for $3.50 would use up almost their entire food budget for the day?

Shabbat shalom.

Days 3 & 4 - Lessons in Contradictions

Taking part in this Challenge has been a lesson in contradictions:

• The first, and most obvious, is the contradiction that one can approximate a life of poverty by limiting food intake to what can be purchased for $31.50 while living the rest of a normal, fairly comfortable life. While I am going through this challenge, I sleep in a comfortable bed in a warm home, drive in my car, carefully plan my meals with consideration to nutrition and health, have use of the internet, friends (including a nutritionist), and cookbooks to plan a healthy diet., can shop around for the best deals, fill up my gas tank, etc.  I am not living a life of poverty and I am not experiencing what someone who lives on food stamps experiences.  But with all of that, taking this Challenge is providing me with some important insights that I would not have experienced without it.

• The second contradiction, however, may be less obvious.  Despite the severe limitations that the Challenge has put on my food intake, I am probably eating a more healthy diet this week then I ever normally eat. While it is lacking in green vegetables and fruit, I am not eating any processed foods, I am doing all of my own cooking, nothing is fried, there are no trans-fats, etc. I recognize that this also is part-in-parcel with the first contradiction - that many people on food stamps may not have the resources, time or knowledge to plan and prepare their meals in the way that I have done. My diet is bland and repetitive and lacks certain important aspects, but I am eating a relatively healthy balance of protein and carbohydrates, along with minimal amounts of dairy (milk in my cereal), fruit (one banana a day) and vegetables (I used my remaining $5 to buy carrots, potatoes and an onion to make a lentil soup). I am not overly hungry, nor am I going to suffer from malnutrition.  But I do think about food all time, thinking about what I can have for my next meal, watching my supplies begin to diminish, etc.  I'm pretty sure, at this point, that I will have enough, but I will not have leftovers.

• The third contradiction builds off of the previous one, and is not really a contradiction, but a juxtaposition.  I am able to see both how the amount of money we provide for the needy is completely insufficient and how the amount of money that I normally spend on food is completely excessive.  Today I had to run an errand near my favorite felafel/schwarma restaurant.  Normally, I would have timed it to stop in and get a schwarma, and probably have a soda with it.  Sometimes, if I'm hungry, I might also get soup.  It is not unusual for that lunch to cost $12 -15.  Not something I do daily, but certainly not unusual to do 1-2 times a week. That would be about 40% of my food budget for the week on one meal.

• The final contradiction, and perhaps the most challenging, is that I feel like I am benefiting from this experience, but those who are in need are not directly benefiting. Yes, there will be some direct benefits - I will be making a donation to N Street Village and I hope that others who are following my experience might make a donation there or to another agency that deals with hunger issues. Yes, I am keenly aware, through many kind messages, that this blog has helped raise other people's awareness.  And yes, I know that awareness is the first step toward action.  But I still can't help feeling that there is something almost narcissistic about this process. I need to think more about how I translate my experience into something that will truly make a difference for those on SNAP.

I have learned one other important lesson - water is my friend.  Whenever I feel hungry, I drink water.  Yesterday, when I was beginning to worry about whether or not I would have enough food and wasn't feeling well , I realized that I could make a lentil soup - while the ingredients themselves would not have satiated me for long, cooked together with 12 cups of water, it has already made a huge difference and will continue to do so. When I am thirsty, I normally tend to reach for a Diet Coke, Orange Juice or something of the like.  I am very aware of the lack of those beverages, but I forget how just plain water is much more effective when one is thirsty and, it turns out, when one is hungry.  Interestingly, water also plays an important role in this week's Torah portion, helping Abraham's servant find an appropriate wife for Isaac.  (Spoiler alert - a likely theme in my Shabbat remarks this week!)

In any case, I feel like I made it over a hump yesterday.  Monday night and Tuesday morning I had been having some pretty bad headaches and was feeling quite irritable. I began questioning whether this was worthwhile and considering how bad would I let myself feel before I might stop.  I don't know what shifted it, but yesterday afternoon, those symptoms went away and haven't returned (so far).

I feel today that my resolve is getting stronger.  This is due, in large part, to the outpouring of supportive e-mails, Facebook messages and comments that people have made.  Thank you - knowing that I am doing this individually, but not alone has made a tremendous difference.  I truly don't think that I would be able to stick to it without your support.  And yet, even as I write these words, I know that  so many who rely on food stamps day in and day out lack that support - indeed, another contradiction.

Day 2 - Monday

When I picked this week, it was partially based on the fact that I didn't have any celebrations this week. Of course, I couldn't plan for a brit milah.  Friends who are members of the congregation celebrated the birth of a boy today in traditional Jewish fashion - a ritual circumcision, blessings which include bestowing on the baby his name, beautiful words by the parents, and a feast of bagels, lox, cream cheese, danishes, etc.

I ate my Cheerios, milk, banana and tea before I went.  I remember to take my medicine with water, not juice.  Already doing better today.  

At the brit milah, I have a cup of decaf coffee, but avoid eating anything else.  I'll take that as a victory.  Fortunately, I have a lot of work - every time I think about leaving to go home for lunch, I end up responding to one more e-mail.  Soon it is 3:30 and I still haven't left for lunch.  I go home and make a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich, drink a glass of water, and head back to work before religious school starts.  On the way back, I realize that after eating the sandwich, I feel more hungry than I did before. I manage to stay pretty busy and get my mind off of it, and then head home around 6:40.

When I get home, my children and in-laws are enjoying a pizza.  I heat up the leftover kasha. No comment.

So far, the night is going pretty well, although I am feeling a little light headed. I go to clean up from dinner and there is a quarter of a cucumber sitting out, already peeled. Looks so good, but is it really worth a $.25?  Probably not.  On another night, I might have just tossed it.  I wrap it up and put it in the fridge.

I think about the fact that I have not once gone to bed truly hungry.  I have never known what it is like to wonder about where the next day's meal is coming from.  Even now, I am doing this by choice - if at any time I want to stop, I can. I have opportunities to "cheat" at any moment.  I know that this is just for a week and I am motivated to try and "win." 

What must it feel like for those for whom this is their reality, not just their challenge?  I still don't know and am unsure that I'm really going to understand it at the end of this week.

But I am thinking about those questions a lot.  Maybe that is something.

Day 1 - Sunday

Ready to get started...Got my milk, cheerios and banana.

First question - how do I account for my Lipton tea and the sugar I use?  Looked up the cost of Lipton Tea online and I see it costs about $.05 per bag.  Sugar is a condiment and condiments (according to the Challenge guidelines) don't count.  All right, I can add in $.50 for the tea that I will drink this week. Now I have $6.00 left for the week.

I habitually grab a glass of orange juice that is sitting on the counter and take a sip with my morning pills.  I will have to be more conscious about things like that if this is really going to mean something.

Great, I'm a few hours in and have already cheated.  But its ok - I will get back on board.

I have a busy day and will not make it home until dinner.  I better make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to take with me.  I instinctively go to grab a diet coke to pack with it and remember to put it back down. I make sure I have my water bottle full and head out the door.

After religious school, I am heading to a brunch for new members of the synagogue.  That is likely to be a danger point - I eat my sandwich on the way, even though it is earlier then I would have wanted.  I take some plain coffee at the brunch and look longingly at the fresh fruit platter, not to mention the bagels and lox.  But I am determined and I'm not there for very long, so I'm ok.

I head off to my son's flag football game - no danger points here, until the end when he hands me his half finished bag of chips.  I crumple the bag to avoid the temptation.  Stop by my in-laws, avoid the m&m jar, and then off to my other son's soccer game.  Friends are going out for dinner afterwards - I take a pass.  I bring the kids back to my in-laws, where they will stay for the night.  They eat burritos and quesadillas. My resistance wears on me and I eat 2-3 tortilla chips. Cheat #2, but still on track.  I drink a lot of water - it really does help instead of eating.

I head home and make my kasha varnishkas (buckwheat and pasta) - a good mix of protein and carbohydrates, very simple, filling.  What's legitimate as a condiment?  The salt and pepper are clearly okay. What about the 2 tablespoons of margarine?  2 tablespoons of soup bullion? I should probably count it as another $0.50.  Only $5.50 left.

I'm quite hungry and eat over half of what I made (1 cup of buckwheat with 12 ounces of pasta) in one sitting. I was hoping this would make at least 3 dinners.  I still have another box of pasta and half a box of the buckwheat uncooked, so with leftovers from tonight, I should be able to have this for dinner for four nights. That will mean making a lentil soup and rice and beans for the other 3 dinners. Not a lot of variety, but seems doable.

While the lack of vegetables hasn't bothered me, I really miss having the handful of grapes or other fruit as a snack.  Late at night, home alone and getting hungry.  I have a spoonful of peanut butter, but then see the kids Halloween candy.  How much could a single bite-sized Snickers really cost? And one "fun packet" of M & Ms?  Ok, I've slipped, but I'm not going to fall.  After the two transgressions, I close the pantry and grab a glass of water.  Yes, water is definitely going to be my friend this week.

Off to bed.

Grocery Shopping - First lessons

So what can you purchase for $31.50?  On Saturday night, I went to the Giant to find out.  After talking with a few friends, I had some pretty good strategies for how I was going to do this, or so I thought.  I knew I wouldn't be able to afford much in the way of meat, poultry or fish, and obviously I would need to buy store brand.  One friend, a nutritionist, recommended being careful of loading up too much on carbs and to get frozen fruit and vegetables.  Ok, that makes sense.  I also knew that since I was doing this alone, I would need to repeat meals a lot - I figured I could eat the same cereal every day for breakfast, have a sandwich for lunch and try to have variety for dinner. I also knew that I didn't want to spend all $31.50 at one time, as I was likely to run out of things or need a bit of a change towards the end of the week.

My wife was with me and she also needed a few items for the house - no major items, nothing for a meal, just a few things to fill in some gaps.  Armed with separate carts, off we went.

I stuck to my plan - Cheerios (I got lucky and the brand name was on sale for only $0.50 more then the store brand - I decided this was one place where brand mattered enough to make it worth the difference), a bunch of bananas (filling and relatively cheap) and milk for breakfasts; a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly for lunches; kasha varnishkes (buckwheat and pasta), a bag of lentils (maybe make soup?), a bag of black beans and a bag of rice for dinners, a dozen eggs for filler and variety.  At that point, as I went to go get the frozen vegetables and fruit, I realized that I was already at $24.98.  I decided to skip the frozen fruit and vegetables for now.

In the meantime, my wife's had also finished her shopping -  no junk or waste on her bill, but also nothing that would turn into a meal itself - and her bill came to $27.82.

I usually think of myself as pretty careful to look for the best price and the best deal, but there is a world of difference when your entire food budget for a week is about the same as what you usually use to "pick up just a few things."

But the biggest shock is that with no meat, no cheese, no fish, no yogurts, no snacks, not one item that cost more than $3.50 - there was still only $6 left for the rest of the week.  And this was still with no fruit and no vegetables, and it assumed I would be eating the same thing or close to it every day.

This may be tougher than I thought...

Ready or not, here I go...

Just about a month ago, in the midst of the Jewish holiday season, I received an e-mail from Rabbi Steven Gutow of the JCPA, asking me to join him in taking the Food Stamp Challenge. I'm still not sure what in this e-mail, among the dozens I receive for worthy causes, caught my attention. Of course, issues of poverty and hunger in America are important, but so are many other issues and I haven't committed to take personal action on many of those. Perhaps it was my personal angst over the Occupy movements (I agree with the problem they identify, but am still waiting for them to suggest a solution), perhaps it was the proximity to the holiday of Sukkot, where we celebrate the harvest but also read the book of Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) questioning the meaning of life.  Maybe it was just post Yom Kippur guilt.  Whatever it was about the initial e-mail, the more I researched this idea, the more important it became to take Rabbi Gutow up on his solicitation to join the challenge.

The basics of the challenge are simple - try to live on $31.50 per week per person for one week to better understand the lives of people who rely entirely on Food Stamps (or the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program - SNAP - as it is formally called).

The reality of trying to take the Challenge required several considerations:

• Should I do it alone, or with my whole family? (After discussing it with my wife and my kids, we decided that it would be better if I do it alone, as my children are still relatively young. However, doing it alone further reduces the amount of variety I could have in my diet, as I lose out on economies of scale.)
• When should I do it? (My biggest concern with timing was thinking about various celebrations that were on the calendar.  The Challenge asks those taking it not to eat free food at events and I didn't want to avoid celebrations nor did I want to reduce the joy of the celebration by attending and not participating. I chose the week of November 13-19th, 2011, since I didn't have much on the calendar this week.)
• Did I really think I could do it? (Despite some recent success with weight loss and adherence to the strictures of kashrut, I have generally not been successful at maintaining discipline about what I eat. Several people encouraged me to try it anyway - that failure to keep to it is a valuable lesson as well.)

After working out these and other questions, I also asked a couple of friends who follow some of these issues more closely to make sure that the statistics were authentic and that the Challenge was worthwhile.  One friend (a liberal) who works on these issues for a government agency assured me that the Challenge is worthwhile.  She did note, however, that the $31.50 was based on an average, and people who received this level of funding have additional sources of income to contribute to their food budget. Still, she said the difference was not huge.  Another friend (a conservative) said that the statistics are reliable as far as he knows and that most conservatives would acknowledge the level of funding for food assistance for the truly needy is inadequate. (I subsequently did find one conservative blog that questioned the statistic - but even his numbers end up at $38.50 per person per week. A significant difference if one is looking at percentages, but not so much in terms of real dollars and purchasing power for food.)  Both encouraged me to do it.

Finally, I wanted to make sure that what I was doing would have an impact beyond my personal experience.   As it turns out, the pulpit rabbi at my congregation was out of town on November 19th and was happy to have me speak about my experience at Shabbat services that morning.

Having run out of excuses (and told enough people that I was going to do it), I am nervously ready to embark upon this Challenge.  I will try to write a post each day to document my experience.